Despite me trying to ignore their advice and miss their house cleaning and cooking lessons "practices" at their house, I eventually got sucked in when I could begin to see myself getting married in the not too distant future.
I do remember this one time in particular my sister was giving me advice on the kind of person to marry. These four things have stuck with me since I was probably 20 years old, and I would like to share this bit of life changing advice.
1. Marry someone who is nothing less than OBSESSED with you. She told me this because over the years of being married, honestly, your spouse will pretty much get used to you (it sounds sad, but yeah I'm sure its true) and eventually be a little less obsessed with you. It's sad, but it's true. So… you should marry someone who is OBSESSED with you before you get married. Someone who is willing to do anything and everything for you at the beginning, because if that slowly goes away over the years, can you imagine how someone would treat you if they were never obsessed with you in the first place?
2. Marry someone who won't dunk your head in the pool if you ask them not to. This one especially applies to us Webb girls because we have dated a nice variety of boys over the years and of course, invited them to swim in our parents pool. Do you know how many times in my life I have asked a boy NOT to dunk my head? 1. because I HATE the feeling of being dunked and 2. maybe because I have an important event later that day and I won't have time to re-do my hair. Yeah, you can say that once that person pushed my underwater even though I specifically asked them not to, I was done with them. Obviously, this applies in many different areas of life. The bottom line of this is just respect. Marry someone who will respect you and your requests, even if it is as simple as not trying to drown you in the pool. It seems like a simple request to me, but you would be surprised how difficult it can be for some "men" to honor that.
3. Marry someone who will drag you out of bed and get you to church. There are absolutely Sunday Mornings when I wake up and church is pretty much the last possible place I want to go (anywhere other than my bed is the last place I want to be). You want to marry the kind of person who will encourage you and help you to get out of bed and go to those meetings, 1. because it's the right thing to do and 2. because deep down you really DO want to go to church, it's just you need that extra push to get you there.
*if you aren't a church-goer, this could apply to other things that are important to you, like perhaps the gym or a committee meeting or club or whatever.
4. Marry someone who will defend you NO MATTER WHAT. It's always awkward to be with a couple who loves throwing each other under the bus. Marry someone who will defend you even if they know that you are dead-wrong in a situation. Someone who even if they knew that you were in the wrong when you cut that person off while driving, that is was so rude of them and uncalled for them to flip you off! A very… "us against the world" type of person. The person who will acknowledge the reality of your feelings… even if they can be a bit outrageous at times (i.e. crying for LITERALLY no reason)
I feel like we are getting to the age that everyone we know is getting engaged and married. I have heard stories where to me, it sounds like some of these people are just getting married because they found someone who they COULD be married to, and they want to get married, so why not marry the next person they date? DON'T LET THIS BE YOU! Wait for the person who does these 4 vitally important things for you, as well as your own personal list of spouse-esque wishes.
I still am the girl who loves love and believes in it above all other things. I route for all marriages to work out, especially when things are really rough (come on keep trying! this is just a moment in time! you can work it out!). But don't start your marriage off by settling or convenience.
I am so grateful to have a husband who is all of these things and more for me. You have taught me so much in these short six months of marriage. I am so in love with you.
But like I always say… "Choose your love, love your choice"
