Sh*t I've Learned While Being Married

On November 21, 2013 
I made the easiest and best decision of my life. 

Although I have had anxiety for the last 2 months about "no longer being a newly wed" and coping with those feelings… I have had time to reflect on how much fun this past year has been. 

Perfect? No. 

Different than I imagined? Sort of. 

Hard? Sometimes

Still the Best Thing Ever? Yes

It's only been a year, but another year older, another year wiser.  here is a list of things I've learned along the way... 

Share Your Treats!!! That shiz comes full circle over time. If you don't share the cupcake your neighbor dropped off, he won't share his freshly baked Dunford Donut next week. (We always know when you eat treats and don't share!)


Choose your battles.  Obviously someone you live with is going to bother you occasionally.  Tell them the things that are worth sharing, but don't pick apart every single thing they do "wrong". 

Get a hobby together.  People told us this… we chose corn hole, shooting guns, and watching Netflix.  I recommend all three.  

Start traditions together.  This could be Spaghetti Wednesday, Walking Dead Sunday, Nude Brunch, Official Diet Coke Time… you get the idea.  

Know each others needs.  I'm not talking shelter, food, safety needs… I'm talking about the simple NEEDS we each have.  He knows I need 15-60 minutes of uninterrupted cuddle/back tickle time after work to decompress, and a made bed every day.  I know he needs matching socks, and a few hours to sew creations each Sunday. 

DOCUMENT! I don't care if you have a digital camera, Vine, Instagram, journal, blog, WHATEVER! just document!!! 

Work on projects TOGETHER.  For now, we are working on our health, marriage, and school (well, I'm helping him with school I suppose).  Eventually we will work on our home, kids, etc. 

Remember those small things that hardly seemed worth mentioning, but when you look back it meant everything. (For you my love, it was long boarding in the parking lot, learning to drive stick, vespa to the hospital, Sundance moonlight ride, and so much more)

Learn to do the things that you hate if your husband/wife loves it.  I HATE giving back tickles… I know I am satanic.  Do I give them enough? No… but I'm trying to share the generosity and pay it forward.

Still do things for YOU! Just because your married doesn't mean all other areas in your life no longer apply.  Still go to lunch, call your friends, buy an occasional guilty pleasure.  If not, you might go a little bit crazy. 

Sometimes I think it's okay to go to bed mad (okay, maybe not totally fuming mad… but annoyed mad).  Sometimes all I need is a few ZZZ's to realize where I was in the wrong in the disagreement.

Whether you are both in school, or one person is working and the other is in school… you BOTH need to pull your weight.  Neither one is a "stay at home" anything which requires both to share in cooking, dishes, and cleaning. Both helping 100%, not 50/50.

Give up your fight.  

Be obsessed with your significant other!!! The obsession radiates and makes loving, laughing, serving, and having fun come so naturally.

Even when teasing, don't throw them under the bus in front of friends.  You can tease, but don't reveal your husband/wife's bad habits to friends, even if they do drive you crazy.
  
I saw a quote once that said "Never stop dating your wife, and never stop flirting with your husband", and how true I have found this to be! Bryan hasn't lost it… He has always been great at weekly date nights, opening the door, and planning something special.  Remembering to flirt with your husband isn't difficult, but sometimes it can be hard to remember… I mean we do spend our lives together! But, I will say that I have seen a huge difference in when I am still sending Bryan sweet texts, complimenting him, or just giving him that look when we are standing across the room from each other versus when we just spend a casual, normal night together where we aren't trying to impress each other. It just keeps things fun. and special. 


and to Bryan, how can I ever even thank you? There is so much it's hard to put into words… but here it is for starters.  I'll spend the rest of my life trying to remember and thank you for all you do for me.  

Thank you not only for waking me up every morning, but doing it gently (and listening to me whine for the first 30 minutes of being awake).  
Thank you for scraping off my car every cold and winter morning. 
Thank you for STILL opening my door. You are such a gentleman.
Thank you for making me laugh harder than anyone else. 
Thank you for still being so obviously obsessed with me. 
Thank you for knowing my mood so perfectly, that you know exactly what I need, or knowing when to just stop. 
Thank you for all the nights you hold me and tickle me to sleep, which is all reality every night.
Thank you for making me not only breakfast, but also an amazing lunch for work every morning. 
Thank you for all the sweet notes.
Thank you for forgiving me after I punched your head. 
Thank you for always being so willing to apologize, and doing what it takes to make this work. 
Thank you for all of the dates "on you"!
Thank you for every surprise.  I don't know how you are still so good at them!
Thank you for caring about what matters to me!!! i.e. whales, diet coke, friends, ice cream, etc. 
Thank you for all of the ridiculous snap chats you send me. 
Thank you for working so hard in school and at work. 
Thank you for making the bed every morning. 
Thank you for not embracing my weirdness, but loving it and being 10 times weirder than me.
Thank you for taking my side on every situation, even when you know I'm wrong. 
Thank you for fulfilling my life dream of being crazy in love, and being a much better husband than I ever expected to get. 

I love you so much.  it has been a wonderful year.  I can't wait for 80 more and forever after that! 

but like I always say… "the sun lights up the day time, you light up my life"