teaching.

My job is by far the most challenging but one of the best things I have ever done.

Each day I am exhausted from trying to control/teach/praise/help over 30 crazy three and four year olds.  How did this happen? I mean me... a preschool teacher? nah! But somehow it did... which for many reasons- some spiritual, some convenience, some perfection, I took it.

I see so many things on a daily basis.  I have kids running around, hitting each other, throwing things, having accidents, trying to escape, flooding the bathroom, yelling inappropriate things, etc. that makes me just want to scream sometimes!
But then... I have kids who interrupt me right before I get mad and say "Miss Rachelle, I love you!" and who hug me every time they see me in the morning and always before they leave.  Kids who wake up at 6 am because they can't WAIT to come back to school! It really is special.

Things have been extremely difficult these first few weeks.  My very first week I had the struggle of teaching a classroom with LITERALLY no furniture.  I tried to explain rules and regulations and tried to make the most out of nothing.  Sitting on the floor, reading books, and playing with a kitchen set I brought from home was what filled up our first week.  On a weekly basis we get lots of new kids (7 new kids this week) and it's hard starting back at square one trying to re-teach the classroom rules.

Luckily I have a lot of help on my awesome team! It's just unfortunate that they can't always be there-- when things get a little rowdy, I have to be the one taking full responsibility.

I never thought I would see myself LESSON PLANNING.  This isn't babysitting... this is full on teaching and preparing kids for kindergarten.  No pressure... just shaping children's futures basically.

One of my two classes has been extremely difficult this week and I have left work in tears on a regular basis, wondering HOW I am going to continue with this job if I can't control the class-- no one listens, and I can hardly teach a lesson long enough to keep any students engaged.  On top of that, majority of my class are students with English as a second language!! You try teaching kids who have no clue what you are saying.. I dare you.  Its some tough stuff. It's exhausting and I am tired 100% of my life.

When people ask me how work is going it's hard to explain.  It's been an extremely difficult week, but I'm sticking it out.  I can't traumatize these kids and abandon them at such a crucial time in their lives (early development, come on!) This job requires much more work than I had intended.  I am constantly referring back to my social work skills I developed in school and am trying to develop the teaching skills I was never given.

No really-- I do love my job. I love my kids.  I am extremely fortunate. but it's just really, really hard.

but like I always say... "is it Thursday yet?"